sweet_temptation asked:


The Laws Of Golf

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come.
This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the
supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and,
eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by
your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the
number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be
proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf
ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one
does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing
partners must solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the
universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems
himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to
humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works
against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from
the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than
anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will
consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted
murderer and an IRS agent — or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same “sleeve” tend to follow one another,
particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: “Nice lag” can usually be translated to “lousy putt.”
Similarly, “tough break” can usually be translated “way to miss an easy one,
sucker.”

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the
one who beats you.

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your
score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the
sunset.

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Whatever asked:


I enjoy playing it with my dad sometimes, but I’d never sit down and watch it.

I do understand how difficult the game is, but that still doesn’t make it interesting to watch. There is a difference between DIFFICULT and EXCITING. Golf is difficult complex game but watching it doesn’t excite me. The only excitement I get out of Golf is when I play a round myself. Even then there are so many better things to do.

How could anyone sit down and watch Golf in the 21 century? With all the exciting things on TV like NFL, Football, motor racing(NASCAR, F1, MotoGP etc), NBA, CSI, 24, Law and order, Simpsons, all the great music channels, all the great movie channels, you’d have to be an incredibly boring person to sit down and watch Golf.

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Beth asked:


I’ve been wanting to try playing golf for a while so this year i joined my high schools golf team. I’ve actually never played golf before. Just hitting golf balls around in gym class and the occastional game of mini golf but thats about it. What are some of the important rules and things that i’ll need to know.

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ticktag asked:


I always play with new golf balls on the golf course, and I usually wear them out after playing it for 5 to 6 holes. There will be yellowish spots on the golf ball, which I believe is caused by my drive and the ball looks like a very old used golf ball that has been lost for weeks by the time I tee off on the 6th hole. It is usual for me to use a new ball after every 6 holes.

How long does it take for you to wear out a golf ball during your golf game and do you get those yellowish marks on the golf ball?
The yellowish stain is roundish, about the size of a dime and looks somewhat like a burn mark.
I use Pro V1 as well as John Daly’s JD Tour. Not sure if its these balls that wears out more easily.

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JBM for JPM asked:


yes

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Rebel Man asked:


I was wondering if it’s more common for high school golf teams to be coed or split by gender. Where I went to school in Mississippi golf teams are coed. Boys and girls play from different tee boxes, but their scores count equally. But in Tennessee, high schools have boys and girls golf teams. I’m not sure about other states. I’ve seen other posters on here mention “girls golf” or “boys golf” teams before, and I know colleges have men’s and women’s teams.

I was wondering if Mississippi is a rare case, and more states do it the way Tennessee does. There weren’t a lot of girls who played when I was in high school, which I guess is why it’s coed, actually some schools had trouble getting enough boys to play. Golf is the only high school sport that’s coed in Mississippi, or at least it was of the sports that were offered at the high school I went to.

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Dylan J asked:


can i die from playing golf so much i love the driving range so much i woul F— it if i have to i mean it

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sandbar3000 asked:


I have been watching golf now for about a year off and on. I enjoy watching golf now more than when I was younger. (I watched golf as a teenager in the 90’s). Appearently, each television studio has their own announcers. CBS has theirs, NBC has their own.

I remember hearing an announcer that had a very low or soft voice that was so horrible to listen to. It sounded like a play-by-play announcer. I’m sure who ever he is, he must be at least in his 50’s by now. His voice sounds like no others. I have not heard his voice too much now as compared with the 90’s.

I can’t even listen to any golf announcers (or anything) from my computer.
I don’t have the drivers installed on my new hard drive for sound and I lost my Windows XP software CD, so I can’t download the drivers for sound even if I wanted to.

If you happen to know golf like that back of your hand and know of the announcers, please help me with this. thanks!
Dude, I never said anything about world wide wrestling. I’m stating that a golf announcer talks really low like wishpering and it is nerve racking.

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Australia asked:


My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 1/2 years we love each other very much but the past year he has started playing golf and i used to go along which was fun. NOw he has a handicap which means he plays in competitions every Sat /Sun. As we dont live together (we live with others familys) the wekend we go and stay with his parents and its always been a time i treasured walking along the beach going shopping doing everything together. Now for about 5 hours on a sat /sun he plays golf and im left on my own and when i dsaid ‘what about me’ he went crazy calling me selfish as its taken alot of hard work to get a handicap and i should be happy for him. Im supposed to not even mind that hes not there for the best part of the day when its a time that we used to treasure. Dosent he want to be with me anymore? Does he love golf more than me? When he does come home he looks online at golf items!!! and is not interested in talking about anything else but golf!!! HELP I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

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Frank Heyes asked:


The laws of golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent — or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same “sleeve” tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: “Nice lag” can usually be translated to “lousy putt.” Similarly, “tough break” can usually be translated “way to miss an easy one, sucker.”

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

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